≡ h c X h c ≡

didn’t do all the sum ups i wanted, found them to be nothing more then me glorifying my observations on my not so interesting life, for 2012 i rather try to be open about what i see feel and how i read whats going on (or just post photos of thing…) the more you publish, the less there is to become gossip #blog_based

anywho…

after going too far with most of my substance abuse, mainly caffeine, but also some red lines where crossed during this hellish and wonderful month, I’ve cut off all the “drugs” for a while to try and reset my brain, and see what i need, what i like, and what is just taken out of boredom…

while i have for this time no problem with any drug i have stopped using, as i said, caffeine has taken over my life (and leg, thanks dave @ kipod tattoos). in december found myself drinking 4-7 cups a day, being awake for days and loosing the ability to fall asleep or get up at will (two things i was never good at anyway). since i have stopped (a week) I’ve been sleeping a minimum of 12 hours a day, while dreaming fucked up realistic dreams, which sometimes i find out only a while later didn’t actually happen,(Herman Cain not re-running for the republican party under a fake name, and the church of Scientology not being outlawed worldwide…) and the fantasies are weirder then ever (sexual deviance and suicide at the life of cartoon mice anyone?). that is the sleeping time, the awake hours aren’t easier in any way, the mind keeps drifting around with nothing on, and motivation for doing shit is slim to none.

due to the fact that 2012 was announced ( by December drunky me) as the year of the hustling and determined goals, i think you all see my dilemma… is the clarity promised by sober living not there for me, or do i need more time to try and find it? can caffeine be as much a liar as other drugs are, or do i just need that extra boost to make my mind keep up with itself and filter the paranoid fantasies abit better?

and now… some new year’s pictures, oh my god, that was an amazing, love filled, fun and somewhat uncomfortably cozy night and day! thanks BFC YBC and KOF TEVET for the production, and to all the friends who made this evening such a success despite the police being fucking assholes!

happy new year, LETS MAKE IT OURS, AFTER 2011 WE KNOW WE CAN!